First day of school!

The first day of school arrived!! Wednesday was Maddie's first day at preschool. I have never seen her so excited, it was right up there with Santa Claus. She got up, got dressed, and ate her breakfast without me having to beg her. It was a miracle I could even get her to stand still long enough for the school pictures. I took her down to school...and there was a difference between moms who were pros at this and those of us who were new to this whole idea. "Pro" moms brought them to class and said "See you after class!" and with a big smile were off! Then there were moms like me...bringing them to class, watching them find their chair with their name and watch them sit down. Telling them that you are leaving...asking for a hug...telling them you are leaving again...and standing at the door watching what they are doing and then realizing you are one of the few left...and that is a little awkward. As I headed back to the door-one of the preschool teachers told me-"Have fun!" And at first I thought 'YES!!!' As I got back into the car I was pretty proud of myself...no tears, no crying. I was doing great! Then I looked in the rear view mirror and saw her empty car seat and Hayden sitting in the back by himself and something got to me. It suddenly hit me that the little baby girl that I have spent every day with wasn't there. She was now a big girl and I was trusting someone else with helping her grow up. As a mom, I knew that this day would come, and there were days that it couldn't come fast enough. But today, it was here. Sure, it is just preschool...not college. But I suddenly felt old. Really really old. I called Josh on the phone and the first thing out of his mouth was "Are you doing okay?" All that I could get out was "She is a big girl." He had to spend a minute to reassure me that everything would be fine and that in a few hours, I would be wishing I could send her back for a couple of hours. When I picked her up, she ran to me and showed me everything she had done for the morning. She was so proud of herself. She is still my little girl, but I am realizing that I need to appreciate what I have now, because one day, I will miss it.