I was thinking about what to write since it has been a week since I last wrote something. Now, since this is pretty much my excuse as a journal...some of these posts are going to be pretty boring for most of you, but to me one day I will look back at these and will be so grateful, even if it is the boring stuff!
I am not a perfect mother, I refuse to pretend to be. We have our good days and our bad days. We have days where we have more fun than we can stand and we have days where I am praying that bedtime will come sooner.
The jury is still out as to what kind of a day today is. Josh is off golfing (shocker, I know!) and I thought it would be fun to do something "springy" since it is so nice out. So this morning I got all 3 ready to go and off we went to the local nursery to pick out some flowers to put in the planters. I LOVE spring. I love to plant flowers. The kids were so excited to go. We arrived and I went to get Hayden unbuckled from his seat and noticed he had yet again unbuckled the seat belt that held his seat in place. He has been doing this non stop for the last few days and it makes me so angry because if I didn't know it was unbuckled and we get in an accident it's "bye bye Hayden". But I wanted this to be a good experience so I said "Hayden, you know you are not to touch the button on the seat belt aren't you?" He said he knew he shouldn't touch it again and I left it at that. I got Grace in the stroller, told Hayden to help me push so he wouldn't go running and had Maddie hold his other hand (I am sure a story about Hayden's little quirks will have to be for another post as to why he is my handful!) Anyway...we went in and they were so excited to see all of the flowers and plants. I told them we would look at all of them and then they could pick out one that they would like to take care of. It was a good experience...at first. They looked at all of them, Hayden would wave to them and say hello to them as we walked past. Grace slept in her carseat. There were a few elderly couples there too and they would smile as we walked past. One sweet lady said "My, your kids are so well behaved!" In my head all I could think as I told her thank you was "Give me 5 more minutes and you probably won't be thinking that! This is just a good moment!" We picked out our plants and as we headed to the checkout...things started to fall apart. Hayden figured Mom could push the stroller alone so off he wandered. He knocked things off the shelf and Maddie (my little Mommy/informant) started yelling "He's touching things!" I was putting plants up on the counter and Hayden decided to disappear on the other side of the checkout and Maddie starts yelling "Hayden is gone!" This of course makes everyone in line start looking around all the while looking at me like "Can't you keep track of your kids?!" I yelled out his name and he popped out around the corner and said "Here I am!" like nothing was wrong. I hurried and purchased our flowers and grabbed them and Hayden's hand and pushed the stroller out to the car. I started loading them in and the whining began "I'm hungry... I need to go potty...where are we going next...can I hold my flowers..." As we drove off, I handed Maddie her flowers. Well of course, then Hayden wants to hold his. I reached down to grab his only to realize they weren't there. I must have left them on the counter at the store. But was I going to turn back around to go get them? Heck no! So I gave him another one and all he could say were "These aren't the ones that I wanted!" This all of course wakes up Grace who begins screaming at the top of her lungs because she is now hungry! As a Mom there are times you have to try to just tune it out just to stay sane. I figured some music would help. So I started switching stations trying to find something, anything. We have XM and I usually scroll through stations if I can't find something...it was on a country station. I am picky when it comes to country...no twang...no ye-haw! But the lyrics of this song caught my attention. It is called "You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Adkins (he is on the Celebrity Apprentice right now)
She was starin' out the window of that SUV
Complainin' sayin' I can't wait to turn 18
She said I'll make my own money and I'll make my own roots
Mama put the car in park out there in front of the school
and she kissed her head and said I was just like you
You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this
Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In her one bedroom apartment and her daddy stops by
He tells her it's a nice place, she says it'll do for now
Starts talkin' about babies and buyin' a house
Daddy shakes his face and says
Baby just slow down
Cuz you're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times so take a good look around
You may not know it now but you're gonna miss this
Five years later there's a plummer workin' on the water heater,
Dogs barkin' phones ringin' one kid's cryin' one kid's screamin',
And she keeps apologizing, he says they don't bother me
I got 2 babies of my own one's 36 one's 23
it's hard to believe
But you're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times so take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this
You're gonna miss this
Yeah, you're gonna miss this
At the end of it, I had two thoughts: 1-Really, I am going to miss this? If I am going to miss this it must be because I have gone totally insane and they have had to lock me in the looney bin where the idea of freedom sounds so much better and 2-I probably will miss this, but I will have forgotten moments like this that make me want to pull my hair out. I kid. I am sure that when the kids are grown up a bit, I will miss this. I will miss their hugs and telling me "I love you Mommy". I will miss that they aren't ashamed to be seen in public with me now. I will miss the five thousand good night kisses before they finally fall asleep at night. The song came on at a time to try to help me keep things in perspective. I may not love all of it, but I wouldn't want to be doing anything else. I just may have a constant slight twitch when it is all said and done!
(the song is in the list down at the bottom!)
3 comments:
Thanks for this post Rachel. It's such a good reminder. Sometimes I get so caught up in how hard things are as a mom of such little kids. But there are things about it (more good than bad, I'm sure) that I will truly miss when they are gone.
That song was great. Not being too much of a country fan, I'd never heard a song by Trace Adkins, but we watch him each week on the Apprentice. That was a really neat song. I may have to put it on my blog too!
BTW- how's Gracie doin'?
PS I wish it were warm enough here to start planting flowers! I'm jealous!
Rachel that was really a beautiful post. In some ways... I can't wait for my kids to grow up, but it is so important to remember what you have to treasure right now... today. Thanks for the reminder. I hope you get your flowers planted eventually.
grrr i just type this whole post and it disappered. anyway this is what I said....
Dang you! I am sitting here crying. I had a horrible day with Macie today and seriously the fact that I didn't beat her is a miracle! Being a Mom is so hard, I don't know how those perfect Moms freakin' do it! I am glad you were at girls night, I love chating with you!
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